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[[Double Square Bracketed]] links and terms may be defined herein or in attached documents. In the event of a conflict between a definition herein and attached documents, the definition provided in this document shall apply.
Parenting.
The parents have two minor children who they pledge to raise cooperatively and according to Saint Matthew’s Principles and Values.
Parenting Vows:
Defining these parenting vows (and grand-parenting) and stating the conditions under which a breach of these vows would affect the trusteeship of the children. “We stand before each other, our boys, and our faith, embracing the teachings of Matthew 18 as the foundation of our parenting. With humility and love, we vow to Matthew’s Principles and Values and the following:
- Listen with Understanding and Patience: Just as Christ teaches us to listen to even the smallest among us, we promise to listen to our children, understanding their needs and perspectives with patience and empathy.
- Forgive Wholeheartedly: Guided by the grace of forgiveness, we commit to forgiving our children and each other, fostering a home filled with love, understanding, and second chances.
- Lead with Gentleness and Respect: In our actions and words, we shall lead by example, treating our children and each other with the gentleness and respect worthy of God’s children.
- Seek Wisdom and Guidance: When conflicts arise, we will seek resolution in a spirit of peace, guided by prayer, wisdom, and the counsel of our faith community.
- Nurture Faith and Hope: We vow to nurture our family’s faith, instilling hope and the teachings of Christ in our children’s hearts, so they grow in love and spirituality.
In these vows, we commit to a journey of co-parenting grounded in the principles of Matthew 18, walking together in faith, love, and humility.”
Coordination.
Each parent shall provide the other with the parent’s current address and telephone number, email address, and other virtual parent-time access information within 24 hours of any change. The parents will use a custody coordination system and share a free Cal.com account to schedule the children’s events and availability according to the Holiday Schedule provision and Children Record Sharing provision below. The custodial parent shall notify the noncustodial parent within 24 hours of receiving notice of all significant school, social, sports, and community functions in which the child is participating or being honored, and the noncustodial parent shall be entitled to attend and participate fully.
3rd Party Coordinator
A grandparent, sibling, community member, or vetted 3rd party may act as a coordinator if (a) they can pass a background check, (b) they can use Cal.com and Signal to communicate with both parents equally, and (c) they share information equally with both parents. Any coordinator should have access to this latest Benson Parent Plan Y23. Any police officer, church leader, or school principals may verify the current and active Benson Parent Plan via an appointed coordinator.
3rd Party Care Provider
Parental care shall be presumed to be better care for the child than surrogate care provider. Each parent shall provide all surrogate care providers with the name, current address, and telephone number of the other parent and shall provide the noncustodial parent with the name, current address, and telephone number of all surrogate care providers. In the event of an emergency, both parents shall be notified by the care provider.
Children Record Sharing.
Inspired by PARENTS’ ACCESS TO RECORDS AND INFORMATION (Idaho Code 32-717A) and “notwithstanding any other provisions of law, access to records and information pertaining to a minor child including, but not limited to, medical, dental, health, [emails, insurance, church,] and school or educational records, shall not be denied to a parent because the parent is not the child’s custodial parent.” Either parent may appoint a record coordinator or digital custodian that can pass a background check and admin email and edit access to the children’s record system. Each parent has the right to access and review all school records relating to his or her child, minor child’s course of study, including the source of any supplemental education materials. The record system shall be defined in a separate Benson Data Room Agreement 23.11.
Each parent has the right to consent in writing before the State, a political subdivision of the State, or a public or private school makes a video or voice recording of either child unless the recording is made during or as part of a court proceeding or is made as part of a forensic interview in a criminal or Department of Social Services investigation or is to be used solely for security or surveillance of buildings or grounds; or a photo identification card.
Custody.
The parents will share joint legal custody and joint physical custody of the minor children. Regular parent-time shall be alternating weeks exchanged on Sundays, father on odd weeks, mothers on even weeks, unless agreed upon otherwise. Minimum parent-time for each parent shall be 6 hours each Sunday. There is no witnessed or substantiated child abuse to the minor children as of July 20, 2022 and ----. If you see something, say something to Justin, the father, confidentially via Justin’s Direct Signal channel.
Custody Information.
There shall be a presumption that joint custody is in the best interests of the children.
- Physical custody:
- physical custody shall be shared by the parents in such a way as to assure the child or children of frequent and continuing contact with both parents
- Joint physical custody:
- each of the parents get significant periods of time in which the children resides with or is under the care and supervision of both parents equally
- Joint legal custody:
- parents are required to share the decision-making rights, responsibilities and authority relating to the health, education and general welfare of the children
- Joint digital custody:
- parents shall share the records, device access, and parental controls to the minor children’s devices, digital accounts, and identities
- Joint calendar custody:
- parents shall share the calendar and emails of the minor children.
- Joint sunday custody:
- parents shall treat Sunday as a shared and equal access holiday and attend religious functions in the spirit of Matthew’s Principles and Values; it is also the default day of the week for custody exchanges unless parents agree otherwise via a custody coordination system.
Holiday Schedule.
Holiday parent-time schedule takes precedence over regular parent-time. Each parent shall get equal division of religious holidays celebrated. Special consideration shall be given by each parent to make the child available to attend family functions including funerals, weddings, family reunions, religious holidays, important ceremonies, and other significant events in the life of the child or in the life of either parent which may inadvertently conflict with the parent-time schedule. Disputes shall be conciliated by religious community according to the PDR.
The mother shall coordinate Christian Holidays on a shared calendar. The father shall coordinate Buddhist Holidays on a shared calendar. One or more grandmothers shall coordinate Family Holidays and Reunions. A 3rd party shall coordinate the School Holidays.
Christian Holiday Schedule
Every Sunday shall be a joint physical custody day for family games, exchanges, and Sunday school.
Statutory Minimum Holiday Schedule
| Even Years | Odd Years | Holiday | Holiday Time Period |
|---|---|---|---|
| Mother | Father | Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Day | (1) Holiday begins on Friday at: (a) 9 a.m. if the parent is available to be with the child; or (b) 6 p.m. at the election of the parent granted the holiday. (2) Holiday ends at 7 p.m. on Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Day. |
| Father | Mother | President’s Day | (1) Holiday begins on Friday at: (a) 9 a.m. if the parent is available to be with the child; or (b) 6 p.m. at the election of the parent granted the holiday. (2) Holiday ends at 7 p.m. on President’s Day. |
| Mother | Father | Spring Break | (1) Holiday begins at 6 p.m. on the day that school dismisses for spring break. (2) Holiday ends at 7 p.m. on the day before school resumes. |
| Father | Mother | Memorial Day | (1) Holiday begins on Friday at: (a) 9 a.m. if the parent is available to be with the child; or (b) 6 p.m. at the election of the parent granted the holiday. (2) Holiday ends at 7 p.m. on Memorial Day. |
| Mother | Mother | Mother’s Day | (1) Holiday begins on Mother’s Day at 9 a.m. (2) Holiday ends on Mother’s Day at 7 p.m. |
| Father | Father | Father’s Day | (1) Holiday begins on Father’s Day at 9 a.m. (2) Holiday ends on Father’s Day at 7 p.m. |
| Father | Mother | Juneteenth National Freedom Day | (1) Holiday begins at: (a) 6 p.m. on the day before Juneteenth National Freedom Day if the day before Juneteenth National Freedom Day is not Father’s Day; or (b) 9 a.m. on Juneteenth National Freedom Day if the day before Juneteenth National Freedom Day is Father’s Day. (2) Holiday ends at 6 p.m. on the day following Juneteenth National Freedom Day. |
| Mother | Father | Independence Day | (1) Holiday begins on July 3rd at 6 p.m. (2) Holiday ends on July 5th at 6 p.m. |
| Father | Mother | Pioneer Day | (1) Holiday begins on July 23rd at 6 p.m. (2) Holiday ends on July 25th at 6 p.m. |
| Mother | Father | Labor Day | (1) Holiday begins on Friday at: (a) 9 a.m. if the parent is available to be with the child; or (b) 6 p.m. at the election of the parent granted the holiday. (2) Holiday ends at 7 p.m. on Labor Day. |
| Father | Mother | Columbus Day | (1) Holiday begins at 6 p.m. on the day before Columbus Day. (2) Holiday ends at 7 p.m. on Columbus Day. |
| Mother | Father | Fall Break | (1) Holiday begins at 6 p.m. on the day school is dismissed for fall break. (2) Holiday ends at 7 p.m. on the day before school resumes. |
| Father | Mother | Halloween | (1) Holiday begins on October 31st or the day that Halloween is traditionally celebrated in the local community: (a) at the time that school is dismissed; or (b) at 4 p.m. if there is no school. (2) Holiday ends at 9 p.m. on the same day the holiday begins. |
| Mother | Father | Veterans Day | (1) Holiday begins at 6 p.m. on the day before Veterans Day. (2) Holiday ends at 7 p.m. on Veterans Day. |
| Father | Mother | Thanksgiving | (1) Holiday begins at 6 p.m. on the day that school dismisses for Thanksgiving. (2) Holiday ends at 7 p.m. on day before school resumes. |
| Mother | Father | Winter Break (First Half) | (1) Holiday begins at 6 p.m. on the day on that school dismisses for winter break. (2) Holiday ends on December 27th at 7 p.m. |
| Father | Mother | Winter Break (Second Half) | (1) Holiday begins on December 27th at 7 p.m. (2) Holiday ends at 7 p.m. on the day before school resumes. |
| Father | Mother | Child’s Actual Birthday | (1) Holiday begins at 3 p.m. (2) Holiday ends at 9 p.m. |
| Mother | Father | Day Before or After Child’s Birthday | (1) Holiday begins at 3 p.m. (2) Holiday ends at 9 p.m. |
Virtual Parent-Time Schedule.
Virtual parent-time supplements, but does not replace, in-person parent-time. Each parent shall permit and encourage, during reasonable hours (8a-8p), reasonable and uncensored communications with the child, in the form of screentime, device, and mail privileges and virtual parent-time, which shall not take precedence over the Holiday Schedule.
Regular Parent-Time Schedule.
Parent-time shall be as the parties agree in the shared cal.com account. If the parties are unable to agree, parent-time shall be alternating weeks between Week 1 and Week 2, as indicated in the table below:
| Sun | Mon | Tue | Wed | Thu | Fri | Sat | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Mom’s Week | Exchange Day | Mom | Mom | Mom | Mom | Mom | Mom |
| Dad’s Week | Exchange Day | Dad | Dad | Dad | Dad | Dad | Dad |
Makeup Parent-Time Schedule.
The father has implemented a free scheduling solution at https://cal.com/justinb43/father-sons-time?duration=180&month=2023-11&layout=week_view and petitions the court to order a parent-time modification to reduce future parent-time issues. Disputes shall be conciliated first via a parent coordinator or custody supervisor according to the PDR.
- Justifications
- Given that a mother cannot fully teach her sons to be confident, the father petitions the court as their primary time conservator while permitting the mother to stay as their primary money conservator. In the spirit of good-faith proactivity,
Extended Parent-Time Schedule.
Each parent shall be entitled to a three (3) months uninterrupted block of parent-time every other summer. Father gets odd summers, mother gets even summers.
Father petitions the court to immediately authorize makeup parent-time as extended parent-time for 2 weeks uninterrupted father’s time, with up to 2 weeks uninterrupted mother’s time until the lost father’s time has been recognized.
Custody Exchange.
The parents agree to work with a coordinator to collect transportation and exchange details, verify details, and confirm with both parents the pickup time, check-out time, exchange location, overnight address, and (if any) care provider’s contact information, ideally 3 hours prior to or within 3 hours of the Exchange. The parties shall be polite and civil to one another at parent-time exchanges. Obstructions to Custody Exchange may be escalated to Writ of Assist if custody is being unreasonably and consistently withheld.
Exchange Location.
Unless parents agree otherwise, exchanges shall be at the custodial parent’s home/overnight address.
Custody Transportation.
The noncustodial parent provide transport unless agreed upon in writing. The custodial parent shall have the child ready for parent-time at the time the child is to be picked up and shall make reasonable arrangements to deliver the children to the Exchange Location.
Relocation.
Failure to relocate shall not be construed against a party as waiving any rights or responsibilities. Until the minor children are both 7 years old, each parent gets to determine the primary home of the minor children for 6-9 consecutively months on a rotating basis. Relocation related expenses to be agreed upon separately in a Family Support Trust.
Education.
The custodial parent shall decide the education plan until both children are at least 7 years old. Education related expenses to be agreed upon separately in a Family Support Trust.
Medical/Dental/Mental (Healthcare).
The parents shall provide and maintain medical, dental, and mental records and insurance for the minor children if it is available to them at reasonable cost and is accessible to the children. Healthcare related expenses to be agreed upon separately in a Family Support Trust.
Family Support/Alimony/Child Support
Cooperative management or division to be agreed upon separately in a Family Support Trust.
Real Estate, Vehicle, Misc Assets
Cooperative management or division to be agreed upon separately in a Family Support Trust.
Mutual Restraining Order.
Neither party shall say anything negative, derogatory, or disparaging about the other to third parties, verbally, in writing, or otherwise, with the exception of professionals that the parties are working with who have a need-to-know. Both parties shall be restrained from making disparaging remarks to one another or to their minor children about one another or in the minor children’s presence, either verbally, in writing or otherwise. Both parties are mutually restrained from annoying, stalking, harming, harassing or threatening the other party. The parties shall not enter the residence of the other party without permission from that party. Each party is restrained from posting any stories, pictures, statements about the other party on any social media sites. Both parties are mutually restrained from allowing third parties to do what they themselves are prohibited from doing under this paragraph and shall have the affirmative duty to use his/her best efforts to prevent third parties from such violations, or shall remove the minor children from such circumstances. As used in this paragraph, disparage and derogatory mean to say anything ill of the other whether they believe it to be true or not.
Primary Dispute Resolution (PDR)
This Agreement is governed by the laws of Utah and in accordance with Utah-Matthew PDR 23.11. Any issue or right not specifically indicated herein are hereby reserved for future determination. Any use of AI in the process will be transparently disclosed.
In parental disputes over major child-related decisions, the parties engage in direct discussion on the issues. If unresolved, a third-party witness will be involved for guidance and verifying research citations and “good cause”. Failing that, the matter will proceed to conciliation based upon Matthew’s Principles and Values, and if still unresolved, arbitration.
In witness of consent:
Mother’s Signature: 1st Witness of Mother’s Signature: 2st Witness of Mother’s Signature:
Fathers’s Signature**: 1st Witness of Fathers’s Signature: 2st Witness of Fathers’s Signature:
- Prior ADRs [Proposed] In disputes over major child-related decisions, the parties will first engage in direct negotiation. If unresolved, a third-party witness will be involved for guidance. Failing that, the matter will proceed to conciliation based upon Matthew’s Principles and Values, and if still unresolved, arbitration will be the final step.
- Altered ADR (Litigate-first) [Current] The parties will make joint decisions regarding substantial or significant issues affecting the minor children including but not limited to the minor children’s education, medical care, dental care, religious upbringing, counseling, and other major parenting issues. After discussing the issue and researching solutions, if the parties cannot reach an agreement on a major issue regarding the minor children, they may take the matter directly to court.
- Initial ADR (Mediate-first) [Default] The parties will make joint decisions regarding substantial or significant issues affecting the minor children including but not limited to the minor children’s education, medical care, dental care, religious upbringing, counseling, and other major parenting issues. After discussing the issue and researching solutions, if the parties cannot reach an agreement on a major issue regarding the minor children, they shall attend mediation prior to litigation. Each party shall be responsible for one-half the cost of the mediation.